Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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