so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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