so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
