Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
