Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
