I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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