But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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