He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
high people should be assigned attendants
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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