I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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