I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
