I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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