thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
