Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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