she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm like, not good at living.
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