I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
