so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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