the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
