I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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