If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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