Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
