i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You ruined the universe
Randomize
