Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
