He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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