She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
