My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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