I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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