i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
