I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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