Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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