Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
