Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
