Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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