well most of my day revolves around power hour
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
