Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
