if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
