3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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