me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
