Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize