i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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