I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Randomize
