How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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