I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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