This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
