how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
