Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize