so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
