I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
