A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
