I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
