I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
