Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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