do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
