when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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