Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
