you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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