I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
