You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
