Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
