rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
