Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
