He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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